The worst first day back in Japan... ever

I just got home last night from a week-long hiatus in America. I was going to postpone writing about it until I could get pictures up, but this has been the worst first 24 hours back in a place ever.

Despite my JETlag, I woke up on time. That is when things stopped going right. From that point I worked for 11 hours straight. Then I came home and was so exhausted I didn't move for 3 hours. Come 10:00 when it was finally so late that I had to get up if I wanted to score some dinner, I began to mobilize and promptly jammed my finger into an old wood door frame in my apartment, shoving a shard of wood all the way down to the root of my 5th digit fingernail. Taking a second to process what had actually happened, I realized I was in for an unpleasant little bit of time.

I pulled out the splinter but half of it remained, now buried safely underneath the nail completely. I saw the blood start to pool up under the surface where the bigger part of the spliner had been. I knew things were about to get worse before they got better. I called up my girlfriend to whom I couldn't exactly explain the situation over the phone, so I covered my pinky with a paper towel and drove over to her house, yelling "fuck!" the whole way.

She realized what I was talking about at that point and took me to the hospital, where a kind young doctor informed me that they were going to have to break away the nail. For the next half hour or so, I sat face up while the doctor scratched away the cartilage of my nail with a sterile sewing needle of sorts. Eventually he got most of that sucker out with tweezers. I was bandaged up and sent on my way.

Thanks for the welcome home, Japan. Fuck you.


Krampus said...

that is the worst "welcome back" ever. so is your nail totally gone?

Mike said...

nah, just like a column of it about the width of the splinter. It'll take a few weeks to grew back in. Doesnt hurt at all though. ;D

Mich said...

poor mike!
i read that post with my hand over my eyes, peeking between my fingers to skim through the scary parts. ayeeee! so intense.

Krishna Chavda said...

mike, your writing is just hilarious. i can't help but laugh at your misfortunes. sucks about the stolen clothes too.