Sports day

It's been over a year now, marked by the passing of my second Sports day. Although it wasn't as completely new and alien as my first Sports Day was, just weeks after I arrived, it was still a fun experience, because we have nothing like it in America, besides old school Field Days and Pep rallies that arent really practiced anymore.

picture placeholder:


Oh hey I just realized it's September 11th. Happy September 11th!

Judgement day

Tomorrow is a big day for Japan.
The elections for the Diet, Japan's legislative body, will be held around the country, and the Japanese Democratic Party (DPJ) is poised to win by a landslide. This will spell defeat for the Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) which has ruled almost uninterrupted for 54 odd years, i.e. since the end of WWII.


As an American who blindly embraces all change as inherently good (lol), it is exciting to see the whole country electrified with anticipation of reform. Perhaps Japan is partly fired-up by the recent Obama frenzy of the US election, which was heavily covered and glorified by the Japanese media. During the campaign, this kind of programming was on TV almost 24/7 and children I didn't even know yelled "YES WE CAN" at me from their passing bicycles. Drive-by English.

But it would not be fair to give credit for the current fanfare to America. It is genuinely exciting to see so many Japanese people in my own community and all across the country coming together in droves to give a damn about their own political grievances. With little control over the political process, and therefore lacking a sense of responsibility, my Japanese counterparts have been shockingly ambivalent up until now towards all things political. On the other hand, perhaps this is simply a derivative of Japanese reservedness, for even now, amidst the great energy in the air, people are still reluctant to share which party they support.

Indeed, my girlfriend, whose parents are both local politicians, joined the DPJ effort by volunteering to canvass; talking to her friends and neighbors door-to-door and and asking for support for our local DPJ representative amidst local malls. Determined to make a difference in our fairly rural, conservative community, she donned a mic in one of the infamously boisterous announcement-vans: huge RVs which drive around in the evening dispensing political messages from giant loudspeakers which can be heard for miles.

This kind of campaigning may seem dated old-fashioned because direct internet campaigning and news coverage of campaign events has been barred in an effort to control media bias. This gives the whole election a wholesome grass-roots consistency.
___________________
The stars seem to be aligned
...for the DPJ to overtake the long-obsolete LDP. Things are slow to change in Japan and this has been long in coming; the LDP has shuffled in and out three prime ministers since 2007--which would be like having the Republicans switch the president without an election every year for 3 years. And now it has all come to a head: people are fed up with corrupt autocrats and mismanaged resources, and the resulting economic stagnation. The last thing Japan needs is another Lost Generation.

Indeed, the DPJs message "change," hoping to replicate Obama's success. The system certainly needs an overhaul; the DPJ has pledged to phase out corrupt local officials and crack down on backroom dealing, promoting an unheard-of brand of transparent politics.
___________________
But all is not perfect in the world of Japanese politics.
While they are slated for an historic victory, the DPJ hardly appears prepared to take the reigns of the world's second-largest economy. A series of bribery scandals does not further their case against corruption, and the current head of the DPJ, Yukio Hatoyama, who will likely become the new Prime Ministerm, has managed to bungle issues as sensative as the role of the passive Japanese Self-Defense force. He has also been looking a little less than professional lately:


...Then again, who doesn't have a bad hair day every once in a while?

Another problem is The DPJ has recently been targeting capitalist free-markets as a source of economic downturn, and plans to promote more over-regulation in a market already strangled by government policy. At the same time, they have already agreed to protect many markets from Free Trade. What Japanese businesses need is more freedom to fire and hire, to grow and to die if need be. Ever increasing are zombie companies barred from firing employees and staying afloat only through aide from the federal government. Sound familiar? This will do little to reverse the tides of a culture that was once reknowned for it's innovative businesses, now more famous for it's droning, drunken bureaucrats . Unfortunately this may continue to be the shape of things to come. Nevertheless, the normally passive and indifferent general population seems desperately hungry for reform, and that is as promising a sign as any.

___________________
Judgement Day
And so today marks the closing of the campaign season, and the openning of the ballots, news coverage has reached peak melodrama, and has resorted to sweet CG graphics:



Yes, they actually used the theme from Terminator 2: Judgement Day
___________________
Prediction:
I'm calling it... somewhere in tomorrow's headlines: CHANGE HAS COME TO JAPAN!

一年の日本

Happy anniversary! Today marks it; a full year since I became a registered foreign resident of Japan: this island nation which brings us 2-dimensional lovers and life-sized gundams.

Ironically, I spent the day not in Japan, but making a connection in Taipei after a 9 day holiday to Thailand. How fitting that the week leading up to my one-year centennial with Japan was spent enjoying a well-deserved first-trip outside the country.

Here are some things I've learned during my one year in Japan.

The strap that dangles from your cell phone is more important than the phone itself.

It's better to be cute than hot.

Leave things the way you found them.

Take off your shoes.

The best place to nap is on a train.

"On time" is late.

Home insulation was a very, very good idea.

Sometimes just showing someone that you thought of them is more important than how you express it.

All-you-can-drink menus are so overrated. All-you-can eat menus are not.

In the pursuit of a harmonious, conflict-less society, Japan has accidentally become one of the most socialist cultures in the world.

Emoticons are extremely important.

Tie clips are awesome.

A human being can get used to just about anything.

Reaching escape velocity

If somebody told me before I arrived in Japan that I would not travel outside the country during my first year, I would've clocked em right in the puss. Yet that is how the situation seems to be shaping up.

James is now teaching in Bangkok, through an English-education scheme somewhat like my own. As a good friend from college and a well known party-monkey, he tops my list of people to visit abroad while in Asia.

I first attempted to visit him Thailand during Golden Week, an week-long holiday in early May that is chock-full of national holidays. Naturally everyone wants to travel during that time. Naturally the airfares are hiked higher than a schoolgirls skirt at an agricultural HS. Travelling to Thailand for JUST the holiday was about $800, double the normal rate. No problem, I thought, I will move my classes around and take a few days of nenkyuu (paid vacation) around Golden Week so that I can snag the regular price. Nope. I received a "chotto" speech from my boss that went a little bit like "Moving classes around is extremely hard on the other teachers. We need you here to teach when classes are scheduled, you're an important part of our team."

I could understand and agree what that. My job is to be here and teach. It's not really fair for me to just take off when there are classes scheduled, asking everyone else to change the school's schedule. Besides, I can easily take time off during final exams and school holidays. My vacation time won't be wasted!

Nope. Now that final exams are upon us, my second attempt to flee Japan was crumbled. This time by Swine Flu. When the time came for me to apply again for nenkyuu, my boss gravely informed me of the the outbreak of H1N1 in Osaka, which was old news to me. We had a conversation about how statististically speaking, Japan had 80 times more cases of swine flu than Thailand's "3 suspected." Furthermore, the disease, pandemic though it is, has entirely mild effects. Doesn't hold a candle to regular flu, truth be told. No problem. My boss agreed with me and said he'd check with the board of education.

Nope. As of the Japanese outbreak's outset, the BoE drafted a policy which states: "Any teacher or employee of the Board of Education who travels to any of the countries below [list of all countries affected AT ALL by H1N1] must be quarantined for 1 week upon re-entry to Japan. He/She must not come into contact with other employees or students. This time will be designated special need and will not deplete the employee's nenkyuu." Which is to say basically free vacation time. No problem. I'll go and be quarantined for a week after I get back.

Nope. Obviously being kept from teaching for a week after coming back defeats the whole purpose of waiting until final exams to take a vacation. My boss vetoe'd the whole thing. He asked me to wait until I can travel without interfering with classes. Understandable? Yes. Infuriating? Yes.

I can understand that I am a public official and a teacher. I can understand that even though H1N1 is extremely mild, the government's job is to minimize exposure and risk to the general public. But the fact is that I actually have a highly REDUCED chance of catching H1N1 while in Thailand vs. staying here. I jokingly (half jokingly) told my boss that i thought Japan was getting too dangerous and I had better flee the country to a safer country like Thailand.

Now, months later, the policy shows no sign of budging, so the next time I'll be able to travel will be during summer vacation, a bit after the one year mark in Japan. A fact that is as saddening as it is an indicator that time is really flying by.



Dear Japan, please relax.

always on duty

At one point, my general marker of time was "one day at a time." But that unit quickly evolved into weeks slipping by, and now it hardly seems like long between my monthly paychecks. In fact one arrived today and I had forgotten it's payday.

I like to tell myself that every day here is one less day in Japan. Of course that helps get through the rough, busy days, but it also encourages me to enjoy everyday to the fullest as part of a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. I ask myself, if I were to go home tomorrow, what would I wish I had accomplished. I would wish I had painted more, I would wish I had become more skilled in Judo and Japanaese cooking, and I would wish that I had seen more (any) of Pacific Asia outside of Japan. Luckily THAT pandemic has a cure- new experiences, like travel to yet unseen countries and seeing brand new sights. The itching in my shoes is becoming too much to bare. I'll be jetting somewhere at the first opportunity.

This brings up one more interesting point. I was having a conversation on Saturday afternoon last week with a Japanese English teacher, after doing a volunteer weekend English/cooking class where we made cheeseburgers with Jr High and Elem. students. (that in and of itself was awesome). Anyway, she was complimenting me on volunteering and singing the praises of what a fine ALT I am. I told her it was fun and that many ALT's are doing much greater things. She retorted with an example to illustrate that not all ALTs are great: a few years back, apparently one ALT was traveling, and some small disaster occured in the country while he was there, preventing him from flying back to Japan for almost a week. She left it at that.

Not seeing the connection between having no way to return for a week and being a bad Assistant Language Teacher, I scratched my head and asked "Did he know that something was going to happen? I mean it wasn't his fault, right?" To which she gingerly said "AH! soudesune! Bunka wa zenzen chigao" which means "Oh, of course! your culture is totally different!"

"But he didn't do anything wrong, right? Even if he really wanted to come back and teach, there is nothing he could have done short of not travelling at all"

"Yes but in Japan, you must always be thinking of your job."

I left the conversation confused and kind of scared. I ended on an awkward note by somewhat indignantly stating "Well I do my best when I'm at work, but when I leave my school, I am not thinking about my job." Which only prompted awkward silence.

That conversation has stuck with me. I discussed it with another ALT who has been here a year longer than me and speaks Japanese fluently, and he said that after a long time here, he identifies more with the Japanese culture of work.

I don't want to do that. My time is MY time. My goal is to travel. I will fulfill my work duties to my best capacity, but I hope I never lose sight of the fact that work is work and life is life.

beer review 2: Kirin Stout

A sip of Kirin's "ichibanshibori" stout is a splash of nostalgia-inducing variety. Japan is a land of light bubbly lagers. Here, beers seem to be designed more to match the cellphone emoticon than to be delicious and refreshing. In fact, there is a strange cultural feedback loop between cellphone graphics and beer that warrants discussion. Certainly beer emoticons were once upon a time modeled after the pre-existent product, but today it seems to work in reverse, or at least in both directions. Beer tends to be straw yellow in color and is always served in a glass, and while we Americans pride ourselves on the headless pours, Japan strives to create large, cartoon-like heads of foam in every mug. I tend to forget this ettiquette and my friends always seem little dissapointed when I turn the glass 45 degrees and proudly produce a tall glass of pale yellow gold with no white foam at the top whatsoever. To understnd this phenomenon, consider that the average Japanese teen is exposed to cellphone emailing and emoticon graphics long before becoming old enough to order a beer (drinking age is 20 here). Consider that all your life you have seen pictures of beer on tv and in email graphics that depict roughly 30% foam and 70% beer. Your first beer damn well better match that perfect mental image, right? It is admittedly a bit of a cultural Chicken-or-the-egg thing, but funny nonetheless.

Well Kirin Stout is out to change all that. At least the pale yellow part of the equation (see image).



The aroma is a bloom of roasted caramel and malts that become appearant upon exhalation, and it features a creamy smooth texture. This beer complements my spaghetti bolognese pretty well, but on the other hand, dark beers don't do much for most Japanese food, which is very light and easily out-competed by stronger beers.

The can claims that just a taste of Kirin's ichibanshibori stout will " enrich my precious time" and i have to agree; these times are quite enriched. It's definitely a nice change of pace from the usual lagar fare. Unfortunately finding even the domestic stout is just about as hard as finding actual Guinness (maybe 1/5 grocery stores). Anyway, 4/5 solid oishii!



American equivalent:

New goal!

Learn one enka (traditional japanese) song to perform at karaoke during the nijikai (after-party) of my next enkai (office party). For a more complete explanation of enkai and nijikai, see this article.

According to reputable sources, if i can accomplish something like this, I will instantly become a local legend.

my choice is Umi yuki by Jero, a popular new gaijin singer who hit Japan from Philly last year. His grandmother was a Japanese national, and he learned enka growing up with her. Truth be told, he is actually a huge nerd, confirmed by pictures I saw on the NEWS of his former life in America, and a degree in information science. But now he dresses up like a hip hop star and is making it big because Japanese mainstream culture LOVES it when foreigners can do something Japanese.

I mean people even freak out when they see that I can eat raw fish or use chopsticks without somehow injuring myself. Yes, I am complimented on my chopsticks-using ability several times a week. Of course not all Japanese people share this world-view, but still, there's this attitude that permeates Japanese media and society that only "real" Japanese people can truly understand or appreciate the culture. So seeing a (75%) black guy from Pennsylvania fluently crooning this old-school style of Japanese music makes them wet their levis jeans with amazement.

According to my calculations, the formula works like this:
1. Japanese culture and Western culture are necessarily COMPLETELY different and mutually exclusive to each other.
2. Foreign culture is really cool, we consume and imitate it! (e.g. We like hip hop and obsess of hip hop style.)
3. We loooove famous westerners.
4. This one dude is a real live hip hop star, but he sings ENKA. えっえええ！！

My proposed objective will play right into this effect, even though my Japanese is much less passable than Jero's.

This is my goal. To dumbfound my coworkers and shortcircuit the foundations of their world-view. Otherwise, to chip away at the notion that foreigners are disinterested in and cannot understand anything about Japan.

and... Challenging Convention/Changing our World. I guess.
Thanks, Clark.

へえええええ！

How do you express surprise? Have you ever really thought about it? all those "surprised" sounds we make?

I definitely didn't. And I certainly never considered the sounds I make in shock to be a part of the English language canon. But travelling from America to Japan certainly brings this assumption under scrutiny. Where we English speakers might place interjections like WHOA!, WOW! and NO WAI!, Japanese tend to gravitate towards a drawn out, rising Ehhhhhhhhhhhh! or Hu-ehhhhhh!

The only thing i can compare it to is every 5th graders' instinctive reaction upon hearing a peer's name called over the PA, being summoned to the principal's office. It's exactly that kind of rising pitch, but with a different phoneme.

A quick flip through Japanese news and game show media highlights this phonetic phenomenon. It's one of those things that seemed like probably just a Japanese stereotype, but it turns out to be so entrenched and abusively used as to be almost a satire of itself. Even on news programming, audience members are a must when dolling out new or surprising information because it just doesn't seem so novel without that instant appropriate social reaction. It's like a socially ingrained call-and-response.

As we speak... as i type?... two male teachers are having a conversation across the room. Although the dramatic drawn out Heeee-EEEEH is more girly, men use the interjection too, making it a bit shorter and lower, with a more consistent (opposed to rising) inflection.

It's one of the few things i couldnt help myself from doing while i was in America last week. It's just so important to listening to people when you're trying to speak Japanese.

So yesterday afternoon, i took my lunch home to eat and i had the tv on, perusing my usual buffet of game shows. I stumbled across one where they actually built a game around the interjection:

First they brought out three contestents, each decked out in traditional Japanese garb, ornate kimonos, which elicited a fair amount of "ehhh"s from the audience in and of itself.

Then the host explained...

(haha sorry, more people are doing it right next to me now.)

So the host explained that the contestants would have to make the audience say EHH! as much as possible. He brought out this tiny theatrical stage-and-curtain apparatus, roughly puppet theater size, with a draw-string on the side to pull the curtain up and down. One by one, the contestants would stand behind the curtain, and then a tiny cartoon voice would count down 3--2--1--- and then the host pulls up the curtain and the contestant has to make a true statement about him or herself that will knock the socks off the audience. Something unexpected. Then audience then reacts to its heart's content, and then an LED scoreboard indicates a numerical value corresponding to the amount of "EHH!" that was elicited. After the studio audience finishes shrieking, the host says the Japanese equivalent of "For reals??" and conducts a micro interview with the person, still inside the tiny stage, about their outrageous and true experience.

I will never tire of Japanese television.

Ohh, i just heard a good one

integration, reintegration, disintegration

This is my 100th post. How appropriate that it comes at this juncture; having been in Japan almost half a year. Though i will almost definitely be recontracting for year 2 (unless something catastrophic happens in the next 2 weeks), I am halfway through my first 1-year contract with Fukuoka Board of Education

So if you didn't gather, I spent the last 2 weeks in America, and now I'm back in Japan. Apologies for not blogging whilst still in the US of A. I had every intention to do so, but somehow the whole break managed to slip by as I ran from destination to destination.

I was really looking forward to my reverse-culture-shock in America. Indeed, when I deplaned, everything seemed strange and new. There were foreigners everywhere! and English everywhere, and holy cow, i was literate! I was meandering slowly through the concourse towards baggage claim, when I overheard some Japanese coming from across the hallway. I stopped and looked back to spot a Japanese couple who had come in on my flight, trying to retrieve a luggage cart from the Smart-Cart vending rack thing. In Japanese airports, carts are complimentary and simply provided near the baggage claim area, so the couple were perplexedly trying to pull a cart away from the corral without feeding the machine to unlock it. I turned around to offer a little assistance, and in Japanese, pointed out the payment slot. Oh how proud i was to tell them that it costs 300 yen. To return countless tiny favors Japanese people have done for me as a complete idiot in a country where I have no idea what is going on. I didnt even have to stop to think about why they couldn't figure it out because i have the clearest idea of what it's like to be in a place where the obvious to everybody else, can seem cryptic and impossible. They said thank you in English and i said "You're welcome" in my English teacher voice. What a "I'm a Japanese-speaking badass" moment that was. Oh you can only imagine. (Small victories, guys. bear with me).

So i was pleasantly enjoying my reverse culture shock. I met up with my dad outside who picked me up and we had lovely conversations on the way home about Japan and Japanliness. Then when i got home, suddenly the family dynamic snapped me out of it. The noise, the Nintendo wii, the foodstuffs. I was no longer a visitor from Japan, I was a son/older brother. And just like that, it was as if I'd never left. I was my same old criticizing, quietly observing the strange family dynamics self again.

America has changed a lot, though. Some of this is getting used to the Japanese standards of things, like how people in stores and restaurants seem so pushy by comparison for not greeting me with a smile.

See, in Japan, every time you enter the premises of a business, the clerks and employees are all trained to yell IRASHAIMASE (Welcome! Can I help you??) in the highest, most nasal voice possible. This is supposed to sound the most subservient. If they dont do this effectively, they can get fired. I actually hate it because the subservient voice is extremely annoying and ear-splitting, but i have to admit, something seemed off in America without it. Or perhaps it was just the lack of constant attention and fake friendliness, where clerks just say how much you owe without the grace of a complete sentence or intonation.

My 13 days in America were quite productive. I spent time with my family, of course. And my grandma, who lives all the way out in New Jersey (well in Florida, this time of year) came to cold, harsh Chicago for several days, just to see me while i was home. It was really a pleasure to spend time with everyone, and though we didn't do much real "catching up" per se, there was almost a sense that we didnt have to. It was as if things were untouched and the same as before. Like i had never left. We talked about day-to-day stuff and we complained and stressed each other out. Intense though the dynamic can be, it's a constant that is nice to come back to.

The day after i arrived in America, we went to my brother's and sister's piano recital, which was an excellent re-culturation experience. Everyone was decked out in their holiday sweaters and it was set in this old church. Joe occupied himself by putting his feet up on the kneelers and flipping through the bible. I occupied myself by biting my lip.

Lewis came into town a few times to visit, and i got to see a lot of good friends from high school, a lot of good friends from after high school, as well as some people i have rarely hung out with in the past, but am beginning to correspond with more, either by chance or by eclipsing interests in travel and Japan. It's interesting that I can continue to make new relationships in Oak Park, despite not having lived there in about 5 years now. Nevertheless, i hung out for the first time with many new people and seem to be developing new friendships. This is admittedly mostly due to facebook.

Needless to say I ate a ton of Chicago pizza, italian beef, as well as Diner and Mexican fare.

I played magic.

I drove around Oak Park collecting restaurant take out menus, which i brought back to Japan with me to use in my classes. I really want to encorporate elements of the real world into my lessons. It can make all the difference when you show them real pieces of life in the foreign language, rather than trying to teach from textbook illustrations.

I went to visit Margaret, who has babysat for my family since my birth. She lives around Ashland and 63rd, so i took the CTA out to her neck of the woods to meet her for the first time in my adult life. The other side of the green line is another world indeed and it was a really great experience. She picked me up at the train station and suggested we drive BACK to River Forest to get lunch. I said that was ridiculous and said we oughtta eat around there.

"Well we usually eat Soul Food"

"great!"

So I had the most delicious fried chicken and candied yams and Mac and Cheese at a popular soul food join around Ashland and 80th. sugoooi.

It's long past quittin time now, yet i remain at my desk, so i will have to continue this update with my reintegration (re-re-culture shock) to Japan when i return.

Catcha later, beautifuls!


the loving family at supper


hannukkah


New Years party: Soul Train


the midnight soul train arrives


cheap gas!


packing important American things

お疲れさまです

Okay class, settle down. Today we're studying everyday Japanese.

Perhaps one of the first phrases you would learn as a business traveller to Japan would be お疲れ様です, or "Otsukare sama desu"

It's often translated as "good work", "thanks for the hard work," or sometimes even "you must be tired" but it's meaning and common usage are much deeper--and more hilarious--than that.

I probably say お疲れさまです or it's past-tense counterpart 10-20 times every workday. We say it to each other after a class, after a meeting, or after almost anything work related that might have required an ounce or two of energy. (i.e. anything above and beyond sleeping at ones desk).

To get the literal meaning, let's break it down.

The last word, "desu" is just the verb "to be." It means that whatever comes before it "is."

The first word is "tsukare," meaning "to be tired" but it's distinct from other kinds of tiredness and exhaustion. Tsukare means specifically being tired from working too hard. It's a cultural gem in and of itself

Adding "O-" to the front of "tsukare" (Otsukare) makes it "honorific." In Japanese you add the Honorific "O" to many things, especially Japanese type things like green tea and bentos. But this is only done if the object in question pertains to someone else. For example, when offering someone tea, it is polite to say O-cha. (O-tea... "your tea, sire"), but if referring to your own tea, you should drop the O to be more modest. (MY stuff is normal. YOUR stuff is extra special). Mmm even more cultural goodness packed into that tiny prefix.

The next word in the phrase is "sama."
Sama is one of many japanese words that are equated roughly to "Mister" in English. However, the normal version is San, meaning Mr/Mrs/Ms. Seidman-san, Bethany-san, Kitajima-san, etc. (as an aside, it works for first names as well as last, as distinct from English).

Japanese has many more versions of these, each with a different meanings depending on your relationship to the person. Like in English, sometimes a person's title can replace Mr. For example, just like Mr. Gregory House, MD can be called Dr. House, Mr. Notohara, the teacher, can and should be called "Notohara sensei" Here are the variations that i know of:

-san: standard Mr./Ms.

-sensei: teacher (which leads to a lot awkward translations into Michael-teacher or Takakura-teacher when students try to translate into English)

-chan: for girls, young women, and cutesy/diminuative nicknames (both genders) sometimes dudes have told me their nickname is A-chan or somesuch.

-kun: for boys and young men, or a guy you're really friendly with. One of the ALTs at my school used to be called "Ben-kun" by his students, which means that they really viewed him as a peer.

finally...
-sama: reserved for superiors and seniors.


So the whole thing -- Otsukare sama desu-- means literally

"You are Mr. Honorably-tired-from-working-too-hard."

Hahahahaha

Wednesday night christmas (in english!)

So a few weeks ago I met the acquaintance of one, Endo san. My boss stopped by my desk one afternoon and asked if I had a few minutes to spare. I gladly agreed and then he was ushering me down the hall to the principal's office. I had been late to work that morning for the first time, which is like serious badness in Japan, and was 5 minutes late for one of my classes (which is bad news anywhere) so i wasn't sure if i was going to get fired or what. But we entered the principals office and inside was a high profile meeting in progress between my boss, and my boss's boss, and this elderly man on an oxygen breather who introduced himself as Mr. Endo in flawless English.

Endo san is a famous graduate of my high school. He went on to be a very successful businessman here in town with his family-owned business, which produces freshwater nori. He is also excellent at English and still seems to be studying even in his old age. He loves it. He apparently just wanted to meet me because i am the new ALT at the school, so we chatted for a few minutes, he instructed me to do a good job teaching the students, and he mentioned that he has some friends who meet occasionally to practice speaking english and celebrate western holidays. He encouraged me to come meet them sometime. We exchanged phone numbers.

Later that week he called me and invited me to a christmas party with his English group. That was tonight. He instructed me to bring a gift of less than $10 and told me he'd pick me up outside my apartment. I met him outside 10 minutes early (i'm getting used to everyone being 10 minutes early) and we drove off to an Italian restaurant i had never been to before, where his friends were waiting.

It was amazing.

There were about 5 of them, and after the usual rounds of being told i look like a movie star, and have stylish glasses, etc (this kind of flattery is somehow just not getting old), they each introduced themselves formally in english. This is a big formality in Japan. I'm always doing self introductions and explaining awkwardly in Japanese that i'm 22 years old and that my family consists of 6 people, etc. It's all a standard set of facts, mostly demographical and about family and hobbies. It was a nice change to hear Japanese people struggle in exactly the same way I do to describe their families and hobbies in English. In good faith, i tried to introduce myself in Japanese anyway. Then we began to eat and talk. Spaghtetti, salad, more spaghetti, pizza, more spaghetti, neverending beer, followed by whiskey, followed by cake, followed by coffee and tea. Wow.

Over dinner i answered everyone's questions and we talked a lot about Japanese and American culture, as well as their personal histories and jobs. It was so strange to be having the whole discussion mainly in English. Something i have gotten less and less used to. They asked me the usual gauntlet of "why did you come to Japan" "What are your plans for the future" "What did you study in college" "Do you have a girlfriend" "Do you eat _____?" "Can you drink ______?" and so on. We even talked about Blood Type personality typing (which is really popular in Japan) and why Japan is so into it

One of the guys was a physical therapist, one of the women was the wife of the owner of the restaurant. The conversation and food and hooch kept flowing and they really, really love english. Actually most of them were over 50 and have been studying english since long before i was born.

They used to do a study group with a former ALT, but she has subsequently left, so i might pick up the slack and start doing conversation classes for them. but theyre really advanced. one thing I taught them was the difference between "nerd" "dork" and "geek." The Physical Therapist guy looked up "dork" in his electronic dictionary and insisted that it meant penis. "Penis. Penis. Penis." he said. This led to a discussion of the etymology of Dork and Geek. (you can look it up)

We exchanged gifts by numbering each gift and then pulling numbers out of a hat. I recieved a tiny stuffed cat with gigantic eyes. It's just shy of adorable, weighing in somewhere between cute and creepy. I brought a baseball hat from Aamerica that says "Chicago" on it. It went to the restaurant owner's wife. After dinner they refused to let me pay, which is almost getting not surprising. Every time i am invited out to dinner where i meet new friends for the first time, I am not allowed to pay and told "next time." Then, i drove home with the physical therapist and his wife. I found out that he plays guitar and loves rock music. His favorite bands are Chicago and Journey. Awesome.

So yeah. Fun night. Sorry this is so rambling. I am writing it all in one go, and in a disorganized fashion, and i can't be bothered to check it for mistakes or stupidity (my god i'm so tired lately). I'm off to sort gifts for my trip home and catch some z's.

Hope you've enjoyed, dear reader!

the penis is not the issue

So, as mentioned previously, last week and this week in classes, the theme has been "going to the doctor." Last week we studied from the (stupid) textbook (and i hate it) and i told them about my experiences working in my father's pediatrics office.

Then, I decided to mix it up this week by playing HUMAN BINGO and then screening Grey's Anatomy. I was really excited because we got to host class in the AV room which has a giant screen and a cool projector and booming speakers. Last night i was up late screening all the episodes and making my selection. As i mentioned, i was extremely concerned about how the JTE's and students would react to to the omnipresent SEVERED PENIS that they kept returning to in the episode.

Well, to my surprise, everyone--the teachers, students, etc--were completely unfazed by the recurring penis throughout the episode. In a typical, rowdy, American class, the students'd be on the floor laughing and joking, but my kids made hardly a peep! Just a few honest chuckles at the smattering of dick jokes.

One part of the show, however did ellicit gasps, and it was a scene that i never would've expected. It's here, in the opening. Watch:



Can you guess what was shocking?

It's the feet! The freaking feet! At 0:20 where you can see two anonymous people cuddling in a hospital bed and you see their bare feet touching, it was like everyone was shocked! There where oohs and ahhs like when someone gets in trouble and lots of whispering. When i asked the Japanese teacher what she thought after class, she asked me to skip it in the next class because "...the students are under 18." Later i had class with the cool, young JTE who explained that

"...Japanese people rarely touch, so..."
"ahh... i see."
"Yeah, probably asian people don't touch very often, so it's unusual for the students to see."

I was surprised that she explained it as an "asian people" phenomenon. A lot of people in Japan like to write off cultural differences that way.

Anyway, I have been here now for 4 months, so i should be used to expecting the unexpected, but I am still still surprised by Japanese culture every day, and i love it.

further evidence that japan is a product of my subconscious desires

even on the public broadcasting shows about cooking and stuff, they play music that has been found on my ipod in recent history, such as ratatat, daft punk, lilly allen, digitalism etc.

of course they only play 2 seconds of a given song, but nevertheless, good job, japan.

the show on tv now is about this amazing, delicious and fancy American restaurant called DENNY'S.

a table that is more than a table

I just set up my kotatsu for the first time and OH MY GOD.
this is amazing.

for months my kotatsu sat in my living room, functioning as a mere regular table. i ate on it. i put books on it. I used my laptop on it. But now in Fukuoka, it's starting to get cold. Well as cold as it does get down here in Kyushu. Winter temperatures drop to around freezing, and snow is rare. sounds mild, but Japanese homes have NO insulation, which means if it's 32 degrees outside, it's 32 degrees inside, too, unless you do something about it. Japan relies on space heaters instead of insulation and central heat.

A kotatsu is a square table with a space on the underside for an electric heater to be screwed in. Additionally the tabletop is removable so that you can sandwich a blanket between the table fram and the tabletop surface. brilliant. So now i am sandwiched between a blanket on the floor and a blanket at table-level, with all this delicious heat being trapped inside and warming happily. To sweeten the deal, when i took off the tabletop to put the blanket in, i found that it is reversable. All this time i had been using white and now i have switched it to sexy black.

Icing on the cake? i'm using the internet for free, eating a bowl of spicy curry, and sipping a an autumn ale. Mochi for dessert.

Lovin' it. Now if only i didn't have to wake up in 8 hours.

This is my kotatsu:









I'm now eating a kotatsu mochi and am gonna fire up the wii for 15 minutes or so of kotatsu smash brothers before i crawl into my cold, unheated bed. I can see why people like to sleep in here.

Japan's election coverage

In case you didnt know, Obama is Beautiful World



And if you thought for one second that they wouldnt commercialize the election in an ambiguously racist way...

weird Japanese product update: 2nd installment

Fig. 1: Recycled milk carton toilet paper

I think this is a great idea. Recycled toilet paper, of course, exists in America, but this brand advertises that the TP is necesarily reconstructed from milk cartons. That knowledge, comined with the cute graphic, somehow made me want it more. It's really soft too. Not stiff and thin like US recycled TP. Hell, i'm using some right now.

Fig. 2: Giant-penis-weilding keychains and cellphone charms

I found these wonderful guys in the train station. There were literally hundreds of them for every occasion--wearing costumes of lemons, plums, trains, burgers, bears, monkeys, ramen, shrimp, squid, beer, cheese, buildings, etc--each with that special little something popping out of the costume. It was no mistake: this character's charm is his natural endowment. He must be a popular icon from anime or something. He seems marketted towards children too, which is the really strange part. 

Fig 3: Susu bath mat

brilliant packaging. nuff said.

Fig 4: Captain Santa

This is an actual brand. they seem to specialize in golfing and other non-sport sports supplies. Mostly marketted towards grandpas.

Japanese people are SO RUDE!

Okay, almost nobody in the world would ever say that about this culture, myself included, but here are some interesting cultural notes:

The general preconception of Japan is that it is the quintessential "high context" culture. the anthropologically-sensitive traveller or ex-pat in Japan can expect to guard vigilantly against many seemingly natural behaviors to him that are considered offensive or otherwise questionable in his new host culture. He might even invest in a book or two on the topic of Japanese ettiquette so he is sure he'll do a good job and fit in.

Examples of special politeness precautions to take in Japan are splattered all over the internet and popular media, and in prefaces to travel guides everywhere: DON'T cross your chopsticks or leave them sticking up out of a bowl of rice. DON'T point with one finger. DON'T talk loudly or on your cell phone on the train. DON'T ask for a doggy bag. DON'T eat while walking in public or on the train. DO bow. DO take business cards with both hands, etc. etc. etc.

The list goes on and on, though foreigners are generally granted a cultural pass-card for many of these faux pas. Indeed, many Japanese people seem as surprised and taken aback as they are impressed when I do one of these things the right way, or at least show some humility for doing it the wrong way.

However, there are a few things i've noticed that are rude in America but common in Japan. I thought these "rude" Japanese habits might interest you, dear reader.

1. Asking someone's age: I am invariably asked how old I am at some point within my first couple conversations with someone new. For a young guy like me, this is not such a big deal and it's certainly not embarrassing. People are usually a little surprised that I'm so young, but that's not so bad. What's striking is how obsessed everyone seems with the question of age. Furthermore, they are seemingly impressed/surprised by the simple fact that I HAVE an age. They usually react as if it's some kind of accomplishment:

ex.
"i'm 22"
"eeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!! sugooooi!!" (Woooow! great!)
"he's 22 years old! did you HEAR that??"
"he's 22!?? wow!"

on a related note...
2. Asking if someone has a boy/girlfriend: This one weirds me out a little more. New acquaintences, especially females my age, like to ask if I have a girlfriend as one of their first few questions (and of course by students). Now of course, it's entirely possibly that I am just THAT completely studly that everyone wants to know if I'm available. Maybe asking this kind of question right away is as much of a come-on as it would be in the US, but my ego-regulator tells me that it's probably just another demographical question that Japanese people like to ask when meeting someone new, like "where are you from?" "What sports do you play?" "How old are you?" and "Can you use chopsticks?"

3. Private life, lack of: This may not be true in the big cities of Japan, but i live in a small town where my existence as "the one white guy" is an area of public interest. A few weeks ago, one of my friends, Laura (another ALT, happily attached to a boyfriend) came to visit Amagi and hang out with me. We ended up going to Jusco for grocery shopping (Jusco is an awesome business- exactly like Target PLUS a big supermarket). Anyway, Jusco is one of the only things to do in Amagi after 7:00PM, so a lot of students like to hang out there for fun. It's akin to going to the mall, in a way. While there, we inevitably bumped into a few of my students. The next day at school i was asked no less than 5 times by different students about my trip to Jusco with my girlfriend. Communicating that it's not exactly like that is very difficult. Out here in the countryside, men and women rarely hang out alone together as "just friends."

In fact, I often hear about my own adventures the next day. "I heard you went downtown yesterday" "I heard you went grocery shopping!" "I heard you want to buy a car." It all goes back to courtesy. Foreigners often speak glowingly about how making the slightest mention of a problem or desire in passing to colleagues or higher-ups almost always results in a resolution or solution quickly, without any action really required of them. That same obsessive curiosity about what your contemporaries are really thinking is what makes this possible

4. Slurping food: Well... not all food, but any soup with noodles: ramen, udon, soba should be slurped. The louder the better. Slurping means you are enjoying the meal so, in fact, it's almost considered rude to NOT slurp, thus implying that the food is not great. A lot of Americans have a hard time breaking a lifetime of social conditioning against slurping, but i love to. I always try to out-slurp the old Japanese people sitting near me in restaurants. When they hear me slurping, they usually start slurping louder, as if to assert their superior Japaneseness over me. "NO foreigner is going to enjoy soba more than ME!!1!"

On the other hand, non-noodle soups, like miso, should not be slurped, nor should beverages. Especially tea.

5. Talking with your mouth full: Again, not sure if this is considered completely acceptable or maybe just less rude than we're accustomed to, but i see a lot of Japanese, especially my supervisor carrying on conversation with a mouth full of muffin of noodles or whatever. It drives me CRAZY. Especially because I can barely understand her English as-is, unobstructed. With the addition of a mouth full of food, all hope for comprehension is lost.

6. Grabby hands: No, i'm not referring to kancho nor the fabled Japanese students' curiosity about foreigners genitals... but this happens often enough to get on my nerves. Some people will straight up grab things out of my hands or off of my desk without asking nicely let alone explaining why. I can understand that it might too difficult with communication barriers to explain why she wants to see my passport so she can fill out a section of the form at the bank for me, but I am rarely offered even a "please" and never have a chance to give her permission before she grabs a paper from my desk, or a pen out of my hand, or even my bank book. It's just "give me..." or "can I have...." and then *GRAB.* I'm sure nobody realizes it but that's really offensive by my standards.

7. Eye contact: Japan is not an eye-contact society. Even having an intimate conversation with a well-known friend does not necessitate eye-to-eye gaze. That's fine for me, because as many of you know, eye-contact is not my forte, but still, even though it doesnt bother me that people don't look at me, i do notice.

8. Sneeze acknowledgement, lack of: Most cultures have a post-sneeze follow-up word or phrase like "Bless you." or "Gazunteit," but in Japan sneezes go unacknowledged. This bothered me at first, but i quickly got used to it. Now i'm worried about getting used to not blessing people for when i come back home.

9. Public Drunkenness: Totally socially acceptable to be completely and obviously inebriated in public, on the street, on the bus, anywhere. It's a common sight to see office men still in their suits, stumbling around the Hakata ramen stalls at 10 or 11:00 downtown, barely able to walk, being loud, belligerent, basically defying all the Japanese politeness rules because theyre so eff'd up and drunk. Like being a foreigner, drinking, i guess, gives you a cultural pass-card to act/be expected to act rude and obnoxious. Not so much in the US, where it may be expected, but certainly isnt approved of by the mainstream.

10. Shaving/brushing your teeth/clipping your nails/getting dressed AT WORK: The ideal Japanese worker basically lives at work, so it's generally accepted (and probably smiled upon) for employees to do things generally restricted to the privacy of home in the office, if it means working longer hours. Mind you it doesnt matter if you're actually doing a good job or even working, but if youre AT work, youre a good Japanese worker. clip away! This morning, one gym teacher was even watching anime loudly off of his laptop at work, which struck me as rude and disruptive for any office in the world.

Anyway, that's a good start. And I'm sure there are plenty more where that came from.

greater than the sum of its parts

I remember sitting on the couch with Rosie and Brett back in Worcester, watching Blue Planet, a series produced by the BBC devoted to the amazing life to be found in the Ocean. In the Pacific, they featured are huge schools of small fish. When a whale comes up from the abyss to feed, the hundreds of fish school together into a giant whirling ball of whale-food. The whales feed in passes. rushing through the swarm over and over again until theyve had their fill, and retreat. while apart none of the fish can outrun the whale, most of the school will survive by sheer volume, the group manages to carry on without splitting up.

Meanwhile it is cicada season in Japan. The cicadas (semi) are everywhere and they spend most of their time screaming for sex at the top of their lungs (thoraxes?).. It's kind of mating call that i imagine is similar to what it might be like to stand next to a landing fleet of UFOs. 

Semi spend the majority of their life (often more than ten years) in a larval state below the ground. During maturation, they crawl out of the ground and transform into giant noisy creatures with wings but no mouths, and apparently no sense of direction, as they fly into everything. Their sole purpose, since it obviously isn't eating, is to reproduce. and they do so in humongous generations called broods. 

I should also mention that semi are delicious to most larger animals, some humans included. Therefore, the life-cycle of a cicada is always a prime number of years because it keeps the predators from adapting to a natural flowing rhythm of delicious adult semi wafting through the air. But the main defense mechanism of semi is, again, sheer volume. By reproducing in such huge broods, they ensure that predators can have their fill (it's inevitable really) and there will STILL be enough reproducing individual to keep the population steady.

Bearing in mind these two examples, let us re-evaluate the schooling patterns of another species-- a subpopulation, like the fish, native to the South Pacific.

[photos to come]

While watching practice in the gym today, i commented to my supervisor how interesting the emphasis on group dynamics is to me. I mentioned how seeing everyone move together is so entrancing, and reminds me of the schooling fish.

"To us, this is the concept of absolute beauty."

"You mean complete group coordination?"

"Yes. In Japan, if you lose your individual identity... it's okay."  

gestalt culture

It's interesting what is and isn't acceptable at work and in public in Japan. For example, it would be considered extremely rude for me to cross my legs ankle-to knee right now, or put on my sunglasses even here in the harsh sun. Meanwhile, a nearby teacher wears a huge green translucent visor the he's angled down across his face, creating a sort of welding-mask effect. beside me, two teachers exchange what sounds like useful gossip, and the teacher to my right sleeps in his folding chair.

In fact, it's acceptable to sleep almost anywhere under any circumstances, which tells me that sleep is neglected here on a national scale. It's especially common to sleep on the bus or train. it's quite usual to see businessmen, heads down and eyes closed, supposedly sleeping even as they stand on their 5-minute commute, clinging to the hand grips dangling from above.

The students are all dressed in white tshirts and color-coordinated gym shorts corresponding to their class year. I sit with the other teachers in my "sports clothes" --a tech shirt and gym shorts-- under the shade of a tent pitched by the students. Some of the teachers are decked out in white baseball caps, track suits and many of the women wear light jackets and wide-brimmed hats to shield themselves from the sun beating down, attempting to keep their skin pale (more feminine).

We sit in folding chairs under shaded oasis in the middle of the sports field as a brass band military march is piped over the field through tinny loudspeakers. The students march in place in eight blocks organized by gender and class rank, legs all rising and falling in unison. Blocks of dark legs and light legs. Blocks of boys and girls.

watching the students practice for Sports Day, coming up this weekend, i suddenly feel that i am sitting on a scene at a training camp during World War II in Japan. The students begin to march around the field in synchrony and practice raising their arms, straight out at a 45 degree angle as they pass the teachers' tent, evoking an eerily nazi military aesthetic that disagrees with their gym shorts and smiling faces. along with the tinny march music blaring on loop over the speakers, it feels like i've been dropped into a black and white newsreel.

However, although these marching drills are perhaps military-inspired, they have little to do with aggression or violence and everything to do with group-mindedness, arguably the fundamental component informing Japanese social culture. The students leard to fall into order, becoming simple moving parts of a bigger, complex whole. 1000 pairs of legs rising and falling together. Blocks of dark legs and light legs. Blocks of colored shorts.

My vice principal, (my boss) is new to our staff this year, and so it is his first Sports Day at Asakura High School as well. He turns to me from his folding chair just to my right and says as an aside,

"Beautiful, isnt it?"

I have to agree. Like the many bubbly arms of some sea anemone waving together in the same ocean current, the students all moving together perfectly becomes something larger than itself. Something that hints at group consciousness. Japan, a nation with few natural resources, a small string of islands in the Pacific, surrounded by larger countrie, has developed for itself a toolbox of cultural developments that allow it to become greater than the sum of its parts. Attitudes that menetrate every aspect of the culture. Perhaps the school system in particular.

The students are marching past us again, arms outstretched, folding then neatly, row by row, as they pass the teachers' sanctuary of shade. Another group of students acting as color-guard traverse the field, carrying a twelve foot Japanese flag in two rows of four. a lone student leads the group bearing the school flag: a green field embroidered with gold, containing the school logo and name, written in kanji, in the middle.

The flag-bearers stop midfield and march in place as the hundreds of other students march, blocked, around the field, lining up to join them marching in place.

A teacher in a bright white baseball cap and white polo shirt, collar popped, yells commands on the loudspeaker over the music, which is now starting again on loop for the 5th or 6th time. The students now wait as the music stops and they receive what i can only imagine to be a pretty harsh critique from the drill teacher.

Now they run back to the end of the field and form, again, their perfect straight rows by raising their arms straight out in front of them, and measuring aligning themselves with those in front.

The music begins again and they start to run the drill once more. They will be practicing all week.